I don’t like getting old.
To make it worse your body does not like stress.
And grief is a big stress.
I have a running injury and it is bringing me down. With researching my injury I have dabbled a bit in reading about kinesiology and trigger points.
Trigger Point: a sensitive area of the body; stimulation or irritation of which causes a specific effect in another part.
Thankfully I have many people in my life that are helping my body recover from my injury.
We all have stress in our lives. I used to thrive on it.
But since Nolan passed I just can’t handle stress like I used to. I no longer work the extra hours that I used to. I rarely work on a scheduled day off now. I say no to things and don’t feel guilty.
And I listen to my body. I wear my stress in my shoulders, back and hips. Stretching, yoga and massages help me. If I don’t do these things my body suffers. A massage can help me release a trigger point – it might be painful to have the area touched – but the pain at that site ultimately releases pain in other areas.
I think my grief has “trigger points” too.
If I do not allow time to think about my loss, if I do not spend some time in my “house of grief” (see blog April 10) then the stress builds up into a trigger point. And it gets to be a big nasty one.
As I approach his “Angelversary” next month I am taking some preparatory deep breaths.
As far as I have come, I can be strong and get through this.