It is no secret I am an upbeat person.
Heck – I am a pediatrician! Have you met a grumpy pediatrician? Well – maybe we aren’t sparkly happy all the time but overall we are the fun and smily group in the doctor lineup.
I watched a great program where survivors of the holocaust talked about their sense of humor during their internment at concentration camps. During the most bleak and hopeless time of their lives they still sought humor.
Humor connects us to each other. It makes the painful times and experiences of this world be more tolerable. It allows a different perspective.
It was about a week after Nolan passed that Scott and Sam and I watched a movie. I laughed at a humorous part and immediately felt guilty. How could I laugh? Could I feel happy and not feel guilty? My fellow parents at my Compassionate Friend’s chapter talk about the guilt the first time they laughed after their child died. Would Nolan want me to be sad and constantly miss him all the time? Absolutely no.
So goes my thoughts in this the second year of my grief:
For the balance of my sad crying times I really enjoy the times that I am happy.
I really really love a good laugh.