It is no secret I am an upbeat person.
Heck – I am a pediatrician! Have you met a grumpy pediatrician? Well – maybe we aren’t sparkly happy all the time but overall we are the fun and smily group in the doctor lineup.
I watched a great program where survivors of the holocaust talked about their sense of humor during their internment at concentration camps. During the most bleak and hopeless time of their lives they still sought humor.
Humor connects us to each other. It makes the painful times and experiences of this world be more tolerable. It allows a different perspective.
It was about a week after Nolan passed that Scott and Sam and I watched a movie. I laughed at a humorous part and immediately felt guilty. How could I laugh? Could I feel happy and not feel guilty? My fellow parents at my Compassionate Friend’s chapter talk about the guilt the first time they laughed after their child died. Would Nolan want me to be sad and constantly miss him all the time? Absolutely no.
So goes my thoughts in this the second year of my grief:
For the balance of my sad crying times I really enjoy the times that I am happy.
I really really love a good laugh.
The Grieving Doctor Mom 
At my mom’s wake there were so many loud outburst of laughter….. the first burst was a little shocking, but I kept thinking about how proud she’d be that people remembering her could still laugh that hard….. I’m so happy you have always smiled, laughed with us, and taken pictures at all of our visits.
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Even when your kids are sick you all come in with a joyful spirit. I see where you got your loving personality. Keep taking those pics!
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My husband is not super close to many however his first cousin Steve is like his ” buddy/best friend. Steve is married to Frema and they have 2 children Natalie & Zeb. Steve and his family live in Arkansas and when Danny passed away the four of them made the trip here to stay ” with us ” over the funeral days. Iam close to Frema but was not ” up to having company.” I willingly said okay for my husband’s sake. So about day 4 after Danny passed, Frema, myself and her daughter Natalie were in the car driving to go by my dress for the funeral and my shoes etc. Out of no where Natalie is in the back seat and says ” Mom can we go to the circus ?” Dr Gold it was funny & we laughed, it made no sense. That laugh was good medicine for my soul. Once the funeral was over and they left to go home, my oldest son said ” I think it was good they ended up being here for us, otherwise we probably would have been at each other ” We were so tense, sad, edgy. I told my son with a smile ” yes your absolutely right ” !!!! 🙂 thanks for letting me share ..
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Thank you for sharing!
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