Confident expectation

Soon after Nolan died I thought the world was going to end. Really – not just my world – THE world.

In the two months that followed Nolan’s passing the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, Trump became our 45th US president, and in the shock of that news two days later our spunky fun and crazy kitten that Nolan helped pick out died unexpectedly. In my mind everything was wrong and the world seems upside down and in chaos.

“Surely the rapture is coming” 

Is-The-End-of-The-World-Near-The-Four-HorsemanBut then nothing happened….

The earth did not split open and consume us. Aliens did not invade our planet. And Jesus did not come and save me.

I am still here.. life goes on.

And of course it would go on. I certainly don’t expect the world to end just because my child died.  I also don’t want to be stuck in the past and always thinking about life when Nolan was here.

The grieving parent has a hard time walking forward without a child to watch and yearn for a future. 

How can I go on? This is where HOPE comes into view….


“I hope you feel better.” “I hope you get an A on your test.” No – not that kind of hope. In this every day view of hope there is uncertainty. You may not get to feel better. You may get a C or D on the test.

To a Christian, hope means confident expectation. June 8 4

It is having an unwavering anticipation and desire for something good in the future. 

I know after I die I have eternal life. I have always believed that. I anticipate my return to God and my Home. Some may call Home heaven. And heaven is unimaginably good. And joyful. None of the crap that we have here on earth to deal with. Boy… lots of crap lately in my opinion.

I have never given up Hope.

Jun 8 5
Nolan’s niche

We placed Nolan’s remains in a niche next to my parents on June 8.  I don’t think it is luck that this spot was open for Nolan. There is a reason that it says HOPE over his final resting place too.

Someday I will see Nolan again. When? That is not up to me. There are some days I wish my last day on earth was sooner rather than later. But since the world is not ending tomorrow I accept my life as it is. I wake each morning saying prayers for many and affirm my commitment to God that I will serve Him.

Another day alive.

Another day closer to Home.


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