Silver not Gold

Happy 25 year anniversary to me!

To celebrate my 25 years of service as a general pediatrician I share with you 25 of my thoughts in no particular order. These thoughts are mine and are not supported by my employer.

When I celebrated twenty years of working it was two months before my world fell apart. I am acknowledging my 25 but not celebrating it. These past five years feel like twenty and are not the best ones of my life.

I am sorry to say my profession is slowly eroding in respect. Pediatricians are at the bottom of the pay scale for physician salaries but we take care of the most important patient population. (I am biased I know) I have been called horrible names by angry parents, told I am stupid and selfish and that I work just for the money. (huh?)

God made puppies and babies cute because they poop and pee a lot and many times in places they are not supposed to.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Sometimes you feel rewarded. Sometimes you get your heart broken.

I think I hold the record for the most newborn circumcisions performed in my hospital in a 24 hour period.

Don’t tell me you understand how it is to grieve the loss of a child. Until you bury your son due to suicide don’t tell me your perspective. I don’t tell people how to grieve. I listen. That is what I ask people to do.

Kingdom, Phylum, Class , Order, Family, Genus, Species. If you don’t get it you did not major in Biology.

Practicing medicine would be so much better if I didn’t have to spend hours at my computer charting and justifying medications, studies/labs and therapies to insurance companies.

When you make a mistake in medicine you can cause permanent damage, have a patient suffer or have a fatal outcome. I do not take my job lightly. I ask people to honor my 25 plus years experience when I recommend a treatment or give advice.

In my early twenties I used to attend Friday night lectures at Fermilab, a particle physics laboratory in Batavia, IL. Yes – I loved physics and I am a science geek.

Don’t expect another 25 years of work from me. How many I have left I don’t know. I DO know it is time to retire when nobody wants to see me or listen to my advice.

If I knew back in 1996 what life was going to be like in 2021….

I think all women have been sexually harassed at work sometime in their career. My most memorable event was in med school when I was invited to “help” a senior resident in his call room. Hell. No.

It is not an emergency at 2 am if your child has not pooped in a week and you feel now is the time to get advice.

Goldfish crackers are not a protein food.

The medical profession had been waiting for a pandemic to happen. It was never if – but when. I thought it would be a super strain of influenza. I never thought it would be so politized.

Our brain is the least understood organ of our body and obviously the most important.

I feel I will still need to defend vaccines and discuss how they do not cause autism until my last days of work and up to the end of my life.

The first child I ever saw die was carried into the emergency room crying and fully awake. 30 minutes later meningococcemia took his life. The worst sound is hearing a mother wail when she is told her child is dead.

You don’t need to tell me I am strong. I know I am. I also know people who are much stronger than me.

The parent who rubs you the wrong way, the one who makes you feel frustrated during your visit with their child, is the one who you need to listen to and spend more time with.

The worst recurring thought is when you remember your child is dead. Every morning you awaken and are reminded of this.

Pediatricians have the best patients and even on my saddest day I feel joy when I see them. Ok – maybe not 15 month olds – they hate being at our office no matter what and scream and cry the whole time.

It is my honor to be a doctor. I worked hard and thank God for my talent. I am grateful that I found my purpose.

Every day I wake up and pray my intentions: I pray for others and for our world, I pray to serve God thru my work, I pray to share and be present for those that are suffering like me, and I give thanks that I am one day closer to being Home.

I had no idea I could cry so many tears in 5 years.

I don’t know why we are here on this earth at this time 2000+ A.D. But I do know we all are really strong spirits living during this time on this blue ball in this big universe.

Thank you for allowing me to be your child’s doctor

(That was 26. You got a bonus one.)

4 thoughts on “Silver not Gold

  1. You are a strong, smart, loving, patient pediatrician, wife, mother and sister and I thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think of you and your family often and pray that life will be good for you. We never know what perils will happen in our life – only that we will be taken care of by our God. Peace and Love to you Lisa!

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  2. Congrats on 25 years!! You are an amazing pediatrician and woman! 🙂 Lots of love to you!
    Aimee Reagan

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  3. 25 years of commitment, love, and perseverance. I admire you so much. Thank you for getting your thoughts out to people who need you. Nolan has to be so proud of his amazing mom. (Sam too). 🦋

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