I got a new phone

I don’t know how you feel about getting a new phone. I show my sub-par abilities with smart phones, and I generally dislike change in this area of necessity. But my phone started to glitch and I found out it was obsolete and not getting updates. (Yes – it is THAT old!) I didn’t keep much stored on my old phone, but I did have audio recordings that I re-recorded from an even older phone. It was time to download these to my computer.

I had about 25 recording. They were from the first days after Nolan passed, up to 13 months after his passing. I have not listened to these recordings for years.

I couldn’t listen to all of the recordings at one sitting. That would be too hard. Over these past days I listened to a few at a time. I heard my absolute sadness. My raw emotion. I am glad I did these recordings. My writing does not convey my emotion as well as my voice does in these treasures from my past.

There was a lot I talked about. Some things I don’t want to share. But I will share some thoughts from these recordings….

• I felt so loved during the first weeks after Nolan passed
• I promised Nolan I would keep going
• I made the commitment to keep helping people (not just as a pediatrician)
• I expressed my deep guilt
• I knew Nolan was with Jesus
• I gave thanks for signs from Nolan

I feel comfortable sharing two recordings with you.

Another year without Nolan. #8

As always, still loving him.