When I first started my blog I wrote an entry called “My House of Grief.” https://grievingdoctormom.blog/2018/04/11/my-house-of-grief/
This is one of my favorite blog entries as it communicated my first years of emotions on my grief journey. I still feel these emotions, yet not as crazy and exhausting as I did back then.
Fast forward many years to this past week when Ashley, Tiffany and I represented Golden Hope Ministries (http://www.goldenhopemin.org) attending the 27th annual symposium held by the National Alliance for Children’s Grief in Denver, Colorado. We had three days of networking and meetings on how to serve children and their families that are grieving the loss of a family member.
We had the opportunity to tour Judi’s House located in Aurora, Colorado. In 2002, former NFL quarterback Brian Griese and his wife, Dr. Brook Griese, a clinical psychologist specializing in childhood trauma and loss, founded Judi’s House in memory of Brian’s mother, Judi. Brian was 12 years old when Judi passed away from breast cancer.
Judi’s House is a community-based nonprofit bereavement center for children and families with the vision that no child should be alone in grief. In 2014, Judi’s House launched the Jag Institute. The institute provides evaluation, research, and training opportunities which they share with other bereavement programs in the US and worldwide.
All participants of the symposium – over 600- were in invited to tour this magnificent house, built in 2022, and their third location since inception.
This house is a dream for any grief support program/service to tour. In this huge structure, areas are thoughtfully designed to welcome a child and their family in a loving environment. Rooms are designated for meal sharing, individual therapy, outside gardens, grief education/intern education, group therapy, research, play therapy, administration and more. We took over an hour to tour the place.
With hundreds of people touring the location, Ashley, Tiffany and I wandered around. We thought we explored all the areas but realized we did not see an important one: the group therapy rooms. This area has many rooms where children can meet by age group and adults can meet as a group. As we entered the hallway I noted how this area held the most number of quilts.
After a child/family has finished a 10 session program of group therapy they are welcomed to complete a square for the quilt. This square honors the loved one they have lost. As you can see from the above photo each square is made in memory of their family member that had passed.
Down the group therapy hall you see the walls lined with these quilts. All the therapy rooms have the quilts lining the walls as well. Each quilt holds 15 squares. Multiply this by at least 15 quilts or more in this hall, and each large therapy room holding 5 or more quilts.
Walking in this hall…. this is when I became overwhelmed.
Throughout Judi’s house the quilts are everywhere. But in this hallway I felt the sum of those loved ones memorialized by these quilts. These were thousands of people remembered. In this hall, with the excitement the house filled with visitors, I felt overwhelming love; overwhelming presence of energy of the spirits that were at that moment, watching over the crowd of visitors that appreciated what Judi’s house does.
I started to cry. And really couldn’t stop. Ashley and Tiffany gave me comfort and I tried to explain to them what I was feeling. I don’t think I communicated it well to them. I needed them to understand that I wasn’t sad and missing Nolan (well, I am always missing him), but I was crying from the intensity of love and energy in this area I was feeling.
The house had such a welcoming feeling and I thought – why would the energy of those that had passed not want to be a part of this ?? This was a gathering of people that support their loved ones and so many others that are grieving.
It was an experience. It reminded me of my raw days of the first week after Nolan had passed. That week I was stripped away from the usual, the normal of everyday life and was thrown into the chaos of deep, deep grief. The sleepless nights and shock of loss left me to feel emotions with great intensity. I remember feeling the most love and caring I have ever felt from family, friends and many others. It is a feeling no words can really describe.
In my prior “house of grief” I was alone. It was very unlike Judi’s house.
I did have a room in my house that did bring me happiness and comfort. I had a room that I called the “helping others” room.
Back then I had no idea this is where I would be today – helping others through Golden Hope Ministries.
Please check us out.
Will we be as big as Judi’s House twenty years from now? I don’t know. We will focus on who we can help, be it one child and their family.
Because – as Judi’s house says- no child should grieve alone.
The Grieving Doctor Mom 