You haven’t seen any blog posts from me in the past few months.
Why? Am I done grieving?
No – I didn’t forget. That is not possible. But just as we have our moods change, influenced by the seasons or milestones in our lives, so too does a life with loss.
The summer months are good to me. They are not months filled with past memories of the harder times or contain the dates that mark sad or difficult anniversaries.
No – this is the time when I can put my grief in the back of my mind. It is always there but not immediately in my mind’s eye.
And to be honest I needed a break from the intensity of my grief.
I got to spend more time outside – as you see with my collage of outside fun.
I had a long weekend with my sisters, uncles and cousins. Success!! We finally got together as a family celebrating life and spending a fun time together.
Weddings, birthdays, hikes, parades and pooltime.
We had such a short summer but I think I filled it the best I could spending time with people I love.
I miss Nolan every day. But here I am almost three years without him, and I feel my life is having more happy times, times where I really feel joy. I know he wants me to continue to live, to be happy.
At our Compassionate Friends meeting we talk about our “new normal.” We are not the same person we were before our child died. We can’t go back to our old self. This is our new normal.
I guess I am getting more comfortable with this side of normal.